Thursday, December 30, 2010

ANDREA, Bulgarian slutwave pioneer


American pop charts have always been full of songs by hot chicks in which they talk a lot about sex. It is very easy to understand why this works: when boys hear these songs, they get a boner; when girls hear them, they feel like they have an excuse to dance like a slut and enjoy the male attention that they get. Slutwave artists like Ke$ha, Lady Gaga, and Millionaires are popular because they understand that the key to success in this genre is to be as blatant as possible. Boys are not very smart, so they don't understand thinly veiled, obscure references like "my disco stick." I think it is best to get right to the point, ala "Middle finger in the air if your pussy's tight" (note that none of the members of Millionaires put their fingers in the air).

WANT X 1 ZILLION

Even so, I believe that it is the Eastern Europeans who are truly at the forefront of slutwave-- for example, my new favorite pop artist ANDREA (thanks to Eastern European Studies major JimmyXChrist for the tip). People from fucked up, third-world countries like the Phillippines, Honduras, or Romania have a way of being very direct, and Andrea is no exception. You don't have to read between the lines to pick up what Andrea is putting down: DTF!

Fig 1: Popular 'alt-porn' star Sasha Grey #BARF. Also, LOL @ her belly button piercing-- not very alt!

Fig 2: Andrea-- WOULD WIFE/10

Andrea is a real breath of fresh air when you compare her to the current crop of American slutwave artists who try to be more than just sex objects. Whether it's Katy Perry's stupid "sexy pinup" outfits, Millionaires' hamfisted attempts at being "shocking," or Lady Gaga's artsy nonsense, they don't seem to understand that nobody gives a fucking shit what they think or have to say. All we want is a girl who will get up on stage, sing a catchy song and dress like a slut.

The worst is 'alt-porn' like Suicide Girls and genre darling Sasha Grey. Compare the two photos above and tell me what kind of a man would honestly choose her over Andrea-- and GTFO of here with that "But she wore a Black Flag shirt in one of those movies where she was getting gangbanged by 25 black guys!!!" bullshit. You can file that one right next to "No, seriously, I think that stripper really liked me!"

Visit Andrea's official site for news, background info and "The newest pfoffessional photoes of Andrea: seductive, tempting, stylish and sexy"!

Does anybody srsly like artsy, annoying girls who talk too much more than DTF Euros in short skirts and heels?? Do u think 'Sasha Grey is hot bc she looks like someone would really understand where I am coming from'???? Do u wish Katy Perry would GTFO already?????