Thursday, October 14, 2010

Boy Meets World

No, I am not referring to one of the most AWESOME shows that ever was (you don't have a character named "Topanga"--even though her career went nowhere--without being awesome). No, I am writing to my boys again, because my last guy post was such a success.

It kinda sucks that you guys have almost nothing to worry about on the tzniut front, however, you have to deal with one MAJOR problem us gals don't--you're men. That in itself poses a huge problem.

It's kind of a funny thing to watch you boys evolve from, well, boys to men (again, not the band--their careers went nowhere, too). Just about every guy I know has had a 'sloppy' phase, which basically consists of the first 20 years of their lives. Yes, even in college, getting dressed for you boys basically consists of finding what you left on the floor from the day before. Then, suddenly, like you never saw it coming, you are forced into the "real world", and now you, like, actually have to wear decent, matching, fresh clothing.

Now, I can't pigeonhole all you boys into this stereotype, but I would say a good majority have had this rude awakening. Some of you guys are lucky enough to have wives/girlfriends at this most transitional phase in your lives (let's call it your "Bar-Mitzvah: Part II"; after all, this where you really become a man). These gracious women will dress you and mold you into the fashionable, presentable men that you are. Some of you, however, do not, in which case allow me to step in. Here are a few do's for your 'mandrobe' (that's a contraction of the words 'man' and 'wardrobe'--I'm clever like that).

Like I said to the ladies out there, button-down shirts are essential. You guys are actually pretty handsome when you're all spiffed up, and the workplace is no exception. Being presentable is as essential for you men as it is for us ladies (we judge you based on looks, too). Feel free to play with patterns, just remember to keep the shirt tucked in. You can check for some more wallet friendly shirts at Gap, but you are willing to spend a bit more dough, try these shirts (and ties) from Brooks Brothers:


No skinny pants, please! There is a time and a place, and if you're into the whole Emo look, that's fine...for the weekend (actually, that's not fine--we need to talk). Try and keep your black Justin Bieber pants (and hair) at home, and go for classic, tailored pants. Dark neutrals are best (black, brown, navy, gray) and depending on where you work, or your employment position, khakis are totally fine too.
Try a look like this:
(P.S. I Will totally take one of him--to go, please.)


Obvi (read: obviously), a suit is classic, but from what I am told, a suit is annoying. Just in case you are feeling the urge though,  stick to classic neutrals here as well. FYI guys always look more powerful in a suit. It's why they call it a 'power-suit'. Just sayin.

My mother has recently introduced my once fashionably-retarded father to cashmere sweaters (Ya, I'd say he's whipped too); not for nothin', but the guy looks good! Slip one of these sweaters over a button-down with black slacks and you are good to go for the office. Try one like this from Banana Republic:

I kind of stuck to the basics here, but I figure since I am not actually your wife or girlfriend, I owe you nothing. I do care about how you look though, so I beg you to take this advice. Also, I beg you to take it down a notch on the cologne--yes, it smells good, but If I am in Brooklyn, I do not want to be smelling you from Long Island. Thanks.

D