Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Case of the Butchered Dress

I want to personally thank Katie Holmes for  single-handedly proving the mantra "If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It" (say that with a Brooklyn accent--it sounds  better).

Mrs. Tom Cruise decided to go to an event in this Louis Vuitton dress; while it looks OK at first glance, I think this Scientology thing is seriously getting to your fashion sense, Joey Potter, because there is a reason that Louis V. made this dress long in the first place.


This is how the dress was originally produced, and it is S-T-U-N-N-I-N-G (and oh so tzniut!). The updated Stepford look is so chic; this is simply a gorgeous, sexy dress, even covered up from elbow to knee. The Mad Men effect has truly left it's finger print on modern fashion, and now women are covering up--so why did you have to go and ruin that Katie. Why??


Check out how this other raven-haired beauty, Angie Harmon (wife of football player, Jason Seahorn) wore the dress. Talk about Law & Order (I know, these pop culture references are amazing). Now, while I very rarely go around laying in a bed of grass with a nearly $4,000 dress on, Angie makes this modest dress seem so alluring and sexy, with the integrity of the dress completely in tact (shame on you Katie).


I think the moral of the story here, ladies, is that
     A) Katie Holmes has, in fact, gone off the deep-end, and
     B) I need to dye my hair black.
Nah, I jest. The real moral is that covering up is not always ugly, and is actually pretty beautiful (especilaly when it's in Louis Vuitton); sometimes, taking modest clothing and butchering it to be more 'sexy' and brazen is not always a beautiful thing.

Now, if I had a daughter named "Suri", I wouldn't be going around chopping off the bottom half of my dress, but I guess there is an exception to every rule (like a non-Jewish person naming their daughter Suri, for example). Eh, Fuhhgettaboutit (say that in a Brooklyn accent--it sounds better).

Anyway, I hope you'll excuse me while I go find a bed of grass to lay in, so I can go get my modest sexiness on. I sure hope Don Draper will be there...

D